The Coffeehouse Pilgrim

Changes Coming Soon...

2009-08-21T16:36:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick update to tell you that I am going to be transitioning to a new blog. I will release the title of this blog soon so you'll know soon enough.

Why? Well, I found a different (and free) blog service with better controls and looks. This blog has been a bit random and my topics a little haphazard. I'm hoping to be more focused and more consistent in the material I produce. It will be good writing experience and should allow me to further define my writing style. I want to eventually reach many people with my thoughts and that takes some work.

So, stay tuned for my new blog!
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Surprised by Hope

2009-07-29T18:37:00.000-07:00

Surprised by Hope is one of the latest books by N.T. Wright discussing what the Bible says about heaven and what happens after heaven. It also delves into the pages of the New Testament and shows how those final stages of history have, in a certain sense, already begun. I'm reading the book now and it's a good read. N.T. Wright is one of the foremost New Testament scholars today and a prolific writer--both scholarly and popular. You can start with the video below that aired on the Steven Colbert Report in June 2008.

So this book raises a pretty interesting question. What do you think of heaven? Where do you get your ideas about heaven and the life after death? What does the word "resurrection" mean to you and how do you think it applies to you? I do apologize if I'm taking too long a trip through Nerdville, but this is what I read and think about for fun (yes, sadly I did say "fun").

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Bishop N.T. Wright

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

Tasers

Patience, pt 2

2009-07-19T15:17:00.000-07:00

Remember what I mentioned in my last blog? Well this follow up shows how much traffic in California will drive you nuts. I'm writing this while driving. Yes, while driving. This is not advisable unless you're going 0 mph like we are. Patience!
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Patience

2009-07-18T12:12:00.000-07:00

I always thought of myself as a patient person until I starting trying to get around California. What happens when you take about 24 million people and cram them into the southern half of California? Chaos. Traffic. Smog. Yes the air smells of smog and, lately, of bankruptcy (but that's another issue altogether). Los Angeles is by far the worst. In L.A. there is valet parking for just about every kind of establishment possible; even the gym. I have seen businesses hire people for a kind of meter maid position to enforce the 2 hour parking limits or to ensure that you go into the bank if you park in the bank parking lot. These same employees can call on the services of a tow truck to remove any vehicle that isn't supposed to be there. And if you're an out-of-towner that has no idea how to find anything, good luck.

Anyway, one up-side to this mayhem is that these "issues" in California will reveal all kinds of latent oddities in your personality. You might think you're a patient or forgiving person until you've been cut off 50 times in the last 4 miles without even the courtesy of a blinker and then it happens: you crack. Your veins bulge, your temperature rises and you....have had...ENOUGH!!! Now, I am generally a law abiding citizen and I don't mean that I am declaring open season on the LA freeway with guns blazing as some psychos do. But you don't have to have firepower to show what's really inside of you. Jesus said this:

"You have heard that our ancestors were told, 'You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.' But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell." (Matthew 5: 21-22 NLT)

To those of us that are allergic to legalism and to religion as merely following the rules, this is hard to swallow. So getting angry with someone is the same as murdering them? Both get the same judgement from God? If you know your Bible well then you may even say, "Hold on! Didn't Jesus himself get mad and use a whip to drive thousands of people out of the temple?" The answer to that is yes, but I think that what he's teaching above is talking about something different. Jesus is not waiving his finger and shaking his head saying, "Now, now, now. You mustn't get angry little one! Just be happy!" If Jesus meant only that we just weren't supposed to get angry then he was not giving us much help. This is because it sounds like your only option is to take all that anger and bottle it up. When it's sufficiently canned then you won't show any anger...for now. But won't you look so...holy, so...churchy if you have that fake smile plastered on your face? It may look that way but let me tell ya: it ain't the way it's supposed to be.

I have approached life from the legalist point of view for many years now and I didn't even realize it. I used to read something like that passage from Matthew and think to myself, "OK now. I am SO MAD...but I must turn the other cheek" or "I will look so stupid if others see how I feel right now." Years have gone by while I've bottled things up and all that bottled up anger and emotion affects you. I don't care who you are. These emotions will be your downfall if you do not deal with them properly. In the quote above, Jesus is not merely telling you not to be angry, he is telling you that you can't justify your anger by telling yourself, "Well, I haven't KILLED anyone so I'm OK." No, he is stating that God's level of holiness is high and I believe he is pointing out how bad things are for us. We do not operate the way we were made to operate.

So as I drove around California looking for a place to park I began to experience all kinds of things going on inside of me that ought not be. God is using the insanity of this state to show me how far I have to go. And what of the solution? Well, the answer to that is fairly simple and it comes straight from Jesus himself. He says

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." (Matthew 11: 28-30)

Much could be said about this but know that we are not alone. I have to tell this to myself all the time.

Happy Place

2009-07-11T17:16:00.000-07:00

I thought I would post a very brief blog about why this blog is called The COFFEEHOUSE Pilgrim. The name surely isn't random. Coffee shops are a favorite place of mine because I can temporarily leave behind the worries of my world and ponder life, truth, purpose and other grand ideas. I've even included a picture as proof I like these places :)

Cheers!
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The "Dumbing" of America

2009-07-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

I heard someone use this phrase many years ago, 'the dumbing of America.' He was joking and not joking at the same time. I didn't necessarily see what he was talking about then but this has changed over time.

Working at a university has been a good experience in many ways. As a self-proclaimed nerd (or knowledge junkie, if you will), I like the academic atmosphere. My specific job doesn't get into this realm too much but just enough for me to feel like I am part of it. I am the guy who will read books that make others cringe. When some watch sports I watch the Discovery Channel. You get the idea.

Anyway, I have been shocked to see how uneducated our nation's young people have become. I get emails with horrendous grammatical errors and misspelled words. They complain when they have to do something for class. They wonder which teacher is most lenient and they really, really, really hope that we advisors can manipulate the system so that they don't have to take math (or science, or statistics or whatever).

These things are not the worst of what I have seen, however. The worst thing I have seen is an utterly dependent population of students that cannot take care of themselves and that are totally unprepared for life in general. High schools baby these students and "adjust" their grades so they can't possibly fail (one county in Florida just passed a "no zero" policy which is probably intended to boost the grades reported by the schools rather than help the students). Parents hover over their children and do not allow them to grow up. Sports programs will give out trophies just for participating and our ever-advancing technology has conditioned these future "adults" to expect that they'll receive exactly what they want, when they want it. There is no work ethic and there is very little character.

I am not that much older than some of the students I see here but I feel the change that happened in the intervening years has been drastic. I fear for the future of our nation.

Live Well!

2009-07-03T17:28:00.000-07:00

This week has caused me to reevaluate my life--think about what's important to me and what ultimately matters. Babies and weddings and deaths and sickness have been around me a lot lately and they made me take pause.

Legacy

With so many celebrities passing this week it is difficult not to think about death. I don't know why the death of celebrities cause a greater response than the deaths of "common" people or of victims of crime or war or of starving children in the developing world but I know that when death is in front of us it reminds us of our fate. We too will one day breathe our last and pass on into the next world. And what is left? Certainly not us but our legacy will live on. Maybe we won't live on in the same way that some famous people do but those we love will remember us. What will they remember? What words will be used to sum up our lives and our influence? Funerals are the place for very kind words to be spoken regardless of how the person lived. What words would be used in the quiet moments when they can be honest about us? Time will tell and we who are living can still determine our legacy.

As I think about my baby boy or girl that will be coming into our lives next year I wonder if I will be a good dad. Will I train the little one to be great? Or will I have been a cause for grief and therapy? Some children grow up with little guidance and they will wander through life having never been trained to deal with life. I want my child to grow up and be released straight and strong like an arrow that leaves the archer's bow. Unwavering in his or her values I hope that my son or daughter will stand for what's good in the world. I hope that I will pass on right virtues; how to love well, how to be generous, when to say no, when to fight, how to fight, when to walk way among other things.

Discipline

The key to most of these things is discipline. I've allowed myself to be undisciplined and, honestly, the world we live in does not help. The fundamental right, the "pursuit of happiness," as stated in the Declaration of Independence has been turned into the pursuit of pleasure. This is really unfortunate because not all pleasure leads to happiness.

My lack of discipline really hit me in the face a few months ago when my dad made a statement about my basketball days. One of his coworkers that I used to play ball with asked if I ever did anything with my basketball skills. My dad said no and that the problem was that I liked to play but I didn't like to practice. He is absolutely right. I didn't like the practice. It was hard and made me really tired and I eventually gave up. I gave up... Sadly, this has transferred into other areas of life, especially in my life as a Christian. Most worthwhile things aren't easy yet I am stymied when I wonder why I don't see God moving in my life.

The good news is that each day is a new day and I can grow and learn and change.

Joy

At the wedding in Florida, one of Jon and Amanda's nieces asked a great question at dinner. "What's the best day in life?" What a great question. Weddings, the birth of your first child, the birth of every other child for that matter, graduation, your first home, your children graduating and getting married, having grandkids, all these things were mentioned and it made me think that life can be awesome. God intended life to be good and I think that must be remembered when pondering the finite number of days we've been given. I can't imagine the hopelessness (or something) that some must feel believing that there is no greater purpose to life, that this life ends and that nothing else follows. I do not believe that heaven transforms us into little, chubby, cupid-like angels floating in the clouds strumming harps. I think it will be much more real, much more physical than that. But I believe that the joy we share now is but a shadow of the joys to come.

May we all keep our lives in healthy perspective, disciplining ourselves to take hold of what life is really about and being ruthlessly joyful in the number of days that have been given to us. May those who know and love us be able to look at our lives (now and after we pass) and learn from them how to live rightly.

Diapers

2009-06-09T13:45:00.000-07:00

I bought diapers for the first time this week and it was a life-changing experience. You may think that I have started early buying these little treasures but I hope to have a decent stockpile of diapers on top of what others will be giving to us through baby showers and such. Planning ahead can't hurt, right? It's never too late to start planning ahead.

The mere act of buying diapers was not life-changing in itself. Rather, my life changed while standing in the aisle staring at all the diaper variety in all its absorbent glory. This was an aisle that I breezed by every other trip to the grocery store while secretly thinking to myself, "Aren't I glad I don't have to deal with that?" Year after year passed as I left that aisle in my proverbial rearview mirror...until now. No, this time I slowly walked down the aisle observing an entire industry trying to get my attention and make me buy bottles and wipes and jars of food and pacifiers and many other things that I only vaguely know to exist. I was a foreigner in a foreign land but I kept going. I was surprised to find that diapers come in many makes and models. I also learned that you buy diapers for babies like you buy dog food for dogs--by weight. Then on top of each weight class were sizes like large, jumbo, etc.

Anyway, it really hit me that I couldn't just walk by this aisle and pretend that Andrea just had the stomach flu or mono or something instead of actively brewing a baby. The aisle in my rearview now filled the entire horizon in front of me. So I stood there. I stood there taking deep breaths and eventually reached out for a pack of the Value diapers (at the suggestion of some of our friends) for a baby ranging from 8-14 pounds. I turned around and pushed the cart--feeling a lot heavier for some reason--towards the check out. The next thing I knew was that I was walking by Andrea at home tossing the pack of diapers into our storage closet after showing it to her without a word. It was a silent, awe-filled moment.

This may sound negative and I really hope that it doesn't come across like that. While it's true that we weren't planning on this new adventure and that it really changes our future, I do not feel that life is over. Ok, to be honest, I thought it was a few times...but that's behind me. Truly, this change has been tough for me to accept because I still feel like an 18 year old in my mind and this is way too "adult-ish" for me. But that has begun change and it started with a bag of diapers. I can't deny reality any longer. I plan to embrace it and I even plan on living out our dreams. I am convinced it can be done. We will not only survive, we will thrive.

Uncertainty

2009-04-29T17:24:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking about uncertainty of late and there seems to be a
lot of stuff going wrong in the world. Even this blog is uncertain
because I'm sending it from my phone and I can only HOPE it will work
(we'll soon find out). People are freaked out about their jobs, the
economy, swine flu, drug cartels and the list goes on and on. Perhaps
I'm being overly optimistic but I'm not all that scared. Fear is
paralyzing and I've felt that paralysis before. So much of fear is
hype and I think life is too short to be caught up in fearful hype. I
don't want to ignore authentic issues but I'd rather approach them
with calm, deliberate wisdom rather than freak out and get nothing
done. Anyone agree? So be strong and deal with things as they come
and make plans and take precautions appropriately. Freaking out is not
a sign of strength.

Also, does anyone find it ironic that Israel has a case of swine flu
considering both Jews and Muslims consider pigs to be unclean. That's
a one-way ticket to never being invited to parties again!

--
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Sleepwalking

2009-03-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

OK, I know it seems like the only thing I do in this blog anymore is post videos but I find so many funny videos! This video features Bizkit the sleepwalkin' dog. Enjoy!

Simpler Times

2009-02-27T18:43:00.000-08:00

The link below will take you to a video that is so funny and also so true! It's all about how our technology is making us lazy and dependent. Oh man, enjoy! YouTube would not let me embed the video so that's why I'm giving you a link :-)

Everything's Amazing and Nobody's Happy

Cat Flushing a Toilet

2009-02-16T21:28:00.000-08:00

Why? Just because!

Utter Meaninglessness

2009-01-26T08:35:00.000-08:00

I work at a Research-I, state university that is fairly reputable in many ways. However, I sat through a meeting this morning that brings the following film clip to mind. The worst part is that the guy leading it is a hired consultant that is supposed to know what he's talking about. Instead we learned about his experience in his math courses as an undergrad during the 60s. Ugh....

Movie Review: Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

I was excited to see what the hype was all about after hearing that Slumdog Millionaire won 4 Golden Globe awards. I knew practically nothing about the film so I went into the theater as a veritable blank slate (a 'tabula rasa' if you will). Normally, I am quite skeptical about movies getting 5 stars and a bajillion awards. While these films are often good, I find that others are simply overlooked. However, in the case of 'Slumdog,' I must agree with the critics.

The movie centers around a young man in India, Jamal Malik, as he is questioned by the authorities about how he answered so many questions correctly on their version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" As he is "questioned" (read that, "tortured"), he flashes back to various events in his life that gave him the knowledge to answer the game show questions. This movie highlights the poor, uncertain and often tragic life that face those who live in the slums of India. There is exploitation of children, murder, religious persecution, abject poverty, rape, etc. However, there is also themes of hope, goodness and, of course, love.

I thought the movie was a very good one that had a very good story and I would certainly recommend this movie to others. When you watch it, pay attention to the differences between Jamal and his brother. Although they grow up in the same environment they truly embody the tension that is seen in the movie between good and evil. Money is another element to follow in the movie. It seems that money is truly at the heart of the movie (it's even a part of the title). Pay attention to how people pursue money and how that money affects them.

All in all, Slumdog Millionaire is a great film that I highly recommend.

self-delusion?

2009-01-13T11:28:00.000-08:00

My friend, Jon, and I are working to develop our personal mission statements using a book as our guide. The book at one point warns against people pursuing a career path that is only a shadow of what their real dreams are. For example, there are people who dream of writing for a living who settle for teaching English or working as a copywriter or something else like that. She says that we cannot live this life that's parallel to our dreams. We must go directly toward our dreams!

I wonder how that applies to my position in life. I'm a living but a shadow of my potentially fuller existence? Sometimes we ask God for a sign. "Please, God. Show me what I gotta do!" I've found that sometimes he sends that sign and we COMPLETELY miss it. I'm sure I've missed these things before.

So many times I've asked God for direction about my career and it's felt like I've been talking to my ceiling. But when I reflect on things that people have said to me over the years I start to wonder if I have missed something.

I've been told numerous times that I would be a good teacher (even though I resisted the thought of the public education system). I've been told I would be a good pastor (or perhaps a spiritual mentor of sorts). And I've been told that I write well (I suppose you can be the judge of that here). Maybe those were all signs that I drove past on my way to trying to figure out the way.

other people's money

2009-01-09T13:12:00.000-08:00

The rich rule over the poor,
and the borrower is slave to the lender.
~Proverbs 22:7

I was never good with my money when I was growing up. I have distinct memories from high school around tax time in the spring. I would look at the W-2 and take note of the gross income from that year and then I would ponder the number of dollars sitting in my bank account. Even at the measly $4.25/hr wages I was earning, the difference between those 2 numbers was shockingly large. "Where did it all go?" Sadly that question did not linger long in my brain. Maybe I would have clued into the fact that I could actually have money if only I didn't spend it like a meth-fiend.

Through college I started get the idea that debt = bad. True, this is a rather simplistic equation but I was a college student and I needed things to spelled out plainly. My lesson wasn't put into practice until a year or so AFTER college. Yep, right around the time that I moved out on my own. That, my friend, was a reality check. Yet, even then I still have so much further to go.

The borrower is slave to the lender. I have been a slave since I was in college (and I still am) but I refuse to let it continue. I absolutely hate borrowing money. Maybe it's my foolish pride getting in the way, or my thoroughly American individualism kicking in, but I hate asking for money. It's not mine and I like to think that I have more dignity than to grovel.

After this house thing is settled, I will do all I can to be free.

greener on the other side

2009-01-07T07:30:00.001-08:00

Why is the saying that "the grass is greener on the other side" always seem to be true? How is it that we can never be satisfied and always be longing for something different? Ecclesiastes 1:8 says:

All things are wearisome
more than one can say
The eye never has enough of seeing
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
~TNIV

Our eyes are never satisfied, our ears keep taking in more and more stuff. We never rest pursuing things we think will make our lives better. Thus, all things are wearisome. This is not a good life.

I recently remembered something I heard once. Someone told me that, wherever I am, I need to be "all there." This is good stuff because I have almost always been longing for somewhere else or something else and have not been committed where I am at. It applies to work, but also my personal life. We need to just rest where we are at and not strive for things that will drive us crazy.

Now, I don't mean to say that there are not times when change is necessary. I still think change is good and sometimes change will revitalize your life. But this change should be decisive and not drag on for weeks, months and years. Yes, I am speaking mostly to myself about this because I am probably the one that needs to hear it most.

I need to take a deep breath and remind myself that I'm OK here. Change will come but I'm OK now.

lost

2009-01-02T11:08:00.000-08:00

The new year has brought me to a place of reflection on the past and looking forward to new things. I have come to the conclusion that my old ways of planning have produced rather poor results. By the way, the "old ways of planning" really was no planning at all. It's like that old saying that says if you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time. So I am interested in change this year. I don't want another year of mediocre achievments and this year is going to be that year of change.

Probably the biggest obstacle that I am facing is a lack of direction. The way I feel makes me think back to a toy car that I had growing up. It was one of those cars that you had to roll backwards to get the little motor inside to wind up. When I let this car go it immediately shot forward but just as quickly started driving in circles. I could hear the little wheels spinning and the car essentially went nowhere. Granted, I loved this feature in the car but it doesn't translate so nicely when I compare it to life. Life without a plan goes nowhere. Years pass by and suddenly you realize that you are in the same place you were back then and--most frustrating of all--you're not any happier with who you are and what you've accomplished.

I hate this.

I also know that I am not alone in feeling this way. I've talked to several people that are lost and directionless. They don't know what they're doing and they don't know where they're going. They desperately want direction but they don't know where to find it. I have thought to myself several times that I would GLADLY do something if I simply knew that it was the right way to go. If I knew what God wanted me to do then I would tirelessly pursue it. The problem, though, is that "the way" is not merely handed to us. Obviously, there is no cosmic, heavenly road sign that points us to the road of happy fulfillment and it would seem that the mere act of finding that road is, in itself, part of our purpose.

So this year I will be in hot pursuit of this road. I know that about 85% of finding our purpose comes from looking within (according to Dan Miller, author of No More Mondays) and this can be a daunting task in our culture today. It's really easy to lose touch with who you are when we are caught up in the pseudo-reality of TV, the movies or even in the hype created by news organizations. Everything is instant and patience is now and ancient and nearly lost virtue (just think about the last time you had to sit at a traffic light for more than 2 minutes). Looking within takes a lot time when you have to get through all the superficial muck that clogs our brains. Digging through that stuff to find what's truly in our hearts can be a long and arduous task. Yet, I will do this in 2009.

Here are some other obstacles that have hindered me in the past:

1) Paying too much attention to one thing: By this I mean that I worry about one part of my life that I want to change. Really, I'm referring to my career. Since I spend SO much time at work, it's natural to want to make that something we are passionate about. The problem, however, is that it may take time to do this and I typically forget other things that will make my life good as well. For example, exercising, building relationships, getting involved with my church, etc.

2) Freaking out: Yes, I tend to freak out about being directionless. There is a lot going on in this but I essentially forget that I need to make decisions from a peaceful state of mind (or as peaceful as possible). I get all worked up that I am not doing what I ought to be doing and then I start obsessively seeking something out to fix it. I just need to relax and remember that I am OK right now. God doesn't hate me for feeling lost and I have a lot of good things going for me.

3) Forgetting about my goals: Well, truly my goals have been quite weak in the past. However, I still wouldn't make them specific enough to measure. This year I'll be checking up on myself on a monthly basis.

4) Not having fun: I am terrible at this. I believe that life was meant to be enjoyed and I make myself miserable trying to determine the next step. I need to make sure that as I am taking care of the serious business of creating a meaningful life I also need to have fun.

jury duty

2008-12-31T11:28:00.000-08:00

There is a question that I would love to ask our governmental leaders: Why do I get summoned so often for jury duty? Yes, I received my latest summons in the mail yesterday. I believe this is either my 5th or 6th jury summons and I'm not even 30 years old yet. I have been eligible for jury duty for 11 years now and I have been faithfully summoned nearly every 2 years. No one I know has been summoned this many times. NO ONE. Perhaps my grandparents have...but no one else.

Now, this probably sounds like I am shunning my public duty to serve on a jury and I would like to clarify that I have no problem with serving on a jury. My problem is with the election process. Did I end up on the court's favorite list? Why do they choose me so often? How did I get onto this list and how can I put into the pool with the rest of my fellow Arizonans that are called to serve maybe 5 or 6 times in their life?

I suppose there is no such list and that I am "randomly" chosen numerous times. I suppose I should also mention that this summons, and the court date on which I am to serve, are within the two year limit that someone can be called on to serve. So I am fine and I do not have to go to jury duty for now. I suspect that my next summons will soon arrive in the mail. Until then...I just needed to vent a bit :-)

FUN

2008-12-18T11:47:00.001-08:00

When I try to determine what I want to do with the rest of my life, the primary problem I run into is the question about what exactly I enjoy doing. I've always had a problem with this. I am sometimes asked by new acquaintances about the things I do for fun. I don't have an answer to this question because I truly don't know what I like to do for fun. I feel like I don't do many fun things because a) the ideas I come up with usually involved money, b) I tend to do the same things I've always done and c) I simply lack motivation sometimes.

Some may say, "Well, don't you enjoy playing your guitar?" I do. Yet as the years have gone by and as I have been involved in many organizations as a volunteer, I find that playing the guitar became a chore. I just need to start doing fun things and experiment with potentially awesome activities. I truly think this will help me be more in touch with myself and to determine a direction for my work and my life in general.

If you happen to read this blog, would you respond and let me know what sort of fun things that YOU like to do? I thank you for the response in advance!

¿¡revolución!?

2008-10-30T17:01:00.000-07:00

I was randomly thinking about the Obama "Hope" poster today and it occurred to me that it's similar to the Che Guevara pictures that are so popular amongst the subversives and hippies among us.

Why do I say this? Well, Obama's poster is very stylized and ties his face to the concept of hope. He has a stoic, calm look on his face and his gaze is on a distant object and not the viewer; perhaps he's looking into the (presumably hopeful) future. I should note that it isn't "hope" that is on the poster, it is "HOPE." All caps.

When you look at images of Che Guevara in pop culture, you will see some similar characteristics. The same stoic and calm look with eyes fixated somewhere distant. Granted he is wearing a berret and has some facial hair, but the pictures are hauntingly similar. I say hauntingly because Mr. Guevara was the communist counterpart of Fidel Castro.

Did Obama do this on purpose? And doesn't it seem like there is a cult of personality surrounding him? I believe so. He can seem to do no wrong in the eyes of many.

pervading fear

2008-10-21T12:44:00.001-07:00

Fear and negativity are unbelievably powerful. I could practically feel the air change in the room during my meeting with college advisors and administrators today. Discussion arose about budget cuts and jobs potentially being lost and I could tell that everyone was nervous. They say cuts will be made. However, they are bringing on new advisors so one could assume that my advising position is safe. But how much can I really trust that security?

This morning I watched the political footwork being played out on the news as each major candidate promised change and hope. Their followers continually express anxiety/disgust/fear at the prospect of the other candidate winning. It would seem that the hopes of the American people are in these two men. The most common phrase I hear now is "well, with the economy the way it is..." typically followed by some negative--often fearful--forecasting. We seem to be turning to these candidates to make things better.

But can they really make that big of a difference?

The David Crowder Band wrote a song that I love and it includes these lyrics: "Life makes it so hard sometimes to know what's real." This is so true. It's so hard to see through the crap that life throws at us. My post from the other day included this proverb: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick..." We need a present hope and not a distant hope. Perhaps this is why I've not felt so well lately.

Proverbs 13

2008-10-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

Below I've pasted the 13th chapter of Proverbs. This is from the TNIV version and I have italicized some verses that I really needed to hear today.

Proverbs 13

1 A wise child heeds a parent's instruction,
but a mocker does not respond to rebukes.

2 From the fruit of their lips people enjoy good things,
but the unfaithful have an appetite for violence.

3 Those who guard their lips preserve their lives,
but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.

4 A sluggard's appetite is never filled,
but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.

5 The righteous hate what is false,
but the wicked make themselves a stench
and are filled with shame.

6 Righteousness guards the person of integrity,
but wickedness overthrows the sinner.

7 One person pretends to be rich, yet has nothing;
another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.

8 The rich may be able to ransom their lives,
but the poor cannot respond to threatening rebukes.

9 The light of the righteous shines brightly,
but the lamp of the wicked is snuffed out.

10 Where there is strife, there is pride,
but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

11 Dishonest money dwindles away,
but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow.

12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

13 Whoever scorns instruction will pay for it,
but whoever respects a command is rewarded.

14 The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life,
turning a person from the snares of death.

15 Good judgment wins favor,
but the way of the unfaithful leads to their destruction. [a]

16 All who are prudent act with [b] knowledge,
but fools expose their folly.

17 A wicked messenger falls into trouble,
but a trustworthy envoy brings healing.

18 Whoever disregards discipline comes to poverty and shame,
but whoever heeds correction is honored.

19 A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul,
but fools detest turning from evil.

20 Walk with the wise and become wise,
for a companion of fools suffers harm.

21 Trouble pursues the sinner,
but the righteous are rewarded with good things.

22 Good people leave an inheritance for their children's children,
but a sinner's wealth is stored up for the righteous.

23 An unplowed field produces food for the poor,
but injustice sweeps it away.

24 Those who spare the rod hate their children,
but those who love them are careful to discipline them.

25 The righteous eat to their hearts' content,
but the stomach of the wicked goes hungry.

...finally

2008-09-29T08:47:00.000-07:00

Hanalei finally slept through the night last night. I believe it's the first time she's done this since we got her. She has slept each and every night but last night was the first night she didn't cry and whine. What changed? A lot, actually. We put her into a smaller kennel, put that kennel in our room and I had held her in bed trying to pet her and remain motionless hoping she would get the hint that it was sleepy time.

Placing the kennel in our room was a bit of a risk to our sleep but I think she responded well since I faced her towards me and I showed her that I was going to sleep. She whined a little bit but soon fell asleep.

Yes, I know I need to post pictures! I will do that ASAP :-)

A Letter to My Representative

2008-09-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by an article on Dave Ramsey's website to write to my representative in Congress. I just thought you might like to read it.

Dear Congressman,

As a taxpaying American, I am quite uneasy with paying $700 billion to bail corporations out of the trouble that I believe they created for themselves through greed, poor management, poor business practices and possibly even fraudulent behavior. I am a firm believer in the free-market and that the American workforce and the American entrepreneurial spirit can overcome difficult financial markets. This may take some time to accomplish but I do believe we are strong enough to persevere.

The ‘mark to market’ accounting law has forced these companies to mark down their sub-prime loans to market value each day thus freezing the market because no one wants to buy them. If we can change that one rule temporarily for the sub-prime market I believe that a good portion of the problem can be solved because their value will not plummet so quickly. In addition to this, extend the FHA insurance across the sub-prime market. I am not a huge fan of guaranteeing these bad loans but I believe it will be less expensive than the buying them outright. These things will create a market to sell these bonds in and reinforce the confidence in the stock market once again.

Please consider this. Do not plunge the American taxpayers $700 billion deeper into debt! That will hurt us in the long run. I want my money to provide a great infrastructure, great education, better law enforcement and greater security among other things. I do not want to pay for the mistakes of these companies. My vote for you will be determined by this and I hope that you, my representative in our great nation, are listening.

Sincerely,

Your Constituent

what i'm made of

2008-09-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to figure out what makes you tick. I have searched long and hard for the kind of work and the kind of life that I love. I've had some good moments in life but those have not sustained themselves. Mountain top experiences are great but they are not permanent. Neither are they the reality that most of us live. A career coach that I know of has said that 85% of the process in determining what kind of work we will love is an internal search. He says that we must know what we are passionate about, what we are talented in and what makes us want to get up every morning. This knowledge, he says, is critical in order to move forward. By the way, this career coach's name is Dan Miller.

This stuff makes sense to me because searching for work or a particular job without knowing what you are made of is like a hail mary pass in football. You just kinda hope that someone is there to complete the play. But it's so hard to search 'within.' I think that we stuff our desires and our passions down so deep that it feels like we'll never find it--and I haven't even been in the full-time workforce that long!

Yet, we cannot give up. Why give up? Who said the life we want would be easy? Every successful person I've known has had to work really hard to be successful. I haven't read this book yet but I'm told that Dr Stanley says in "The Millionaire Next Door" that one of the things that multi-millionaires have in common is that they love what they do. You don't have to be a multi-millionaire to be successful but I think loving what you do is a key part of it.

So, I suppose I'm saying that it's all the more important to do that soul searching and find out what we're made of. Maybe we too can be successful.

Bad Economy?

2008-09-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

I attended a webinar this morning about helping Liberal Arts students find out what they need to do after they finish their degree. The staff in career services mentioned that their big career event--the "Career Fiesta"--had NO problem finding employers looking for future employees. All 250 booths are filled and there is even a waiting list of employers looking to get their company name in front of the future workers of America. I'm not sure what this means since the news reports are all indicating a crumbling economy.

Perhaps it's...

1) The media is being more dramatic about our economic situation than need be (wouldn't be a first for them)

2) The effects of a crumbling economy have yet to really "trickle down" this far.

3) The companies involved are not really thinking ahead and saving their money (i.e. they'll crash later once they realize they couldn't afford these new grads).

4) There are good things happening and the economy isn't quite ready to fall.

OR

5) This could be a case of "it won't happen if I pretend it isn't there."

There's more to this all, I'm sure. But I just thought this was interesting.

my students

2008-09-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

My students are funny. Oh yeah...in case you don't know, I teach a 1 credit freshman success class. It's probably one of the more boring classes they'll ever take but it's mine and it's all I have ever taught.

Anyway, we discussed learning styles--how we learn best. Visual, auditory & kinesthetic are the 3 categories in one of the assessments and so I divided them into these groups to discuss what they can do to learn more efficiently and effectively.

The visual group (all guys) said that everything should be made into a movie. Someone from the kinesthetic group said they want the teacher to hold their hand through class....yes, hold their hand. !!!!!

Funny? Actually more disturbing. Bleh.

New Puppy

2008-09-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

We just got a new puppy and her name is Hanalei. Who knew that a small, less-than-two-pounds creature could make as much noise as she can in her crate in the middle of the night? Fortunately I am a heavy sleeper and can sleep through some of it. My wife, however, cannot. But Hanalei is a lot of fun so it's worth it. I'll add pictures soon...

Moving

2008-08-12T14:13:00.000-07:00

Oh man. I hate moving. There are few things less enjoyable than spending untold hours, days and weeks packing your things into boxes, putting them into a car or truck and then taking them out again at a different location. This is especially true during the month of August in Arizona. In some ways, moving is an exercise in futility; kind of like making your bed. I looked up futility and found that it means "a useless act or gesture." Making your bed is fairly useless because you will soon be gracing your sheets again with your presence the next time the sun goes down. Likewise, moving is futile because you're just going to move again. It's most evident when you take the time, energy and sweat to pack, move and unpack things you neither need nor want.

I know this isn't really true. We need our stuff to have the kind of lives we want to live. A bedroom without a bed isn't very comfortable, you need the fridge to have most of your food and you need clothes if you don't want to be arrested or a laughingstock. The reality is that we have this cloud of stuff following us all our lives and we are anchored by these things unless we want to give them away. Even if we give these things away, however, we will need to get more stuff later. It's just the annoying fact of life that we must move our things one by one.

Of course no one likes to move (unless you're weird). I just get annoyed by owning so many useless things. Maybe this is why I like to pack light on vacation. I think I'll end this on a light note. Consider the following scene from one of my favorite childhood movies:

Midwest Trip, part 1: The Passage of Time

2008-07-30T12:13:00.000-07:00

It is now August and our trip to our grandparents in Oklahoma and Illinois is already beginning to slip into the recesses of my long term memory. There are many things to write about but I will not be able to include it in one post. Since it would put many people--including myself--to sleep to read a huge blog I will make a few blogs to chronicle our adventures. The trip really taught me a lot and I have been pondering these things since I returned. I suppose you could name these blogs, "What I learned on my summer vacation."

Anyway, I suggest you read my wife's blog on her grandfather whom she calls Afi (Icelandic for grandpa). His wife and his friends call him Harry. Harry turned 97 years old on our last full day in Centralia, Illinois. 97 years old. My mind cannot conceive 97 years nor can it take in all the changes that have occurred since 1911. Two world wars, the rise of the automobile, the Great Depression, the development of powered flight, the space race and a man walking on the Moon, the Cold war, interstate highways, skyscrapers, the advent of the computer age, the end of the majority of colonialism, terrorism, good times, bad times, et cetera, et cetera. Harry has seen a lot of change in the world.

On the wall in their house is a picture of Harry at about 15 years old so it was taken in the late 1920s. He is with his parents and his sister in a posed family portrait. It's a very nice picture. It was odd, however, to look at this picture and then glance over at Harry sitting in his chair where he spent most of his time. In the portrait, Harry is literally the picture of youth. He had a serious look on his face like they always had in portraits those days. His was a young face with dark hair and you could tell from the picture that he was able-bodied. To look at Harry now is to look at the ravages of old age. "It's hell gettin' old, kids," he told us many times. Worst of all is that Harry has Alzheimer's.

This may seem rather depressing to think about but it didn't come out of nowhere. Days before we were at my grandparents house in Oklahoma and I found a book about our genealogy. The furthest back they could trace my family on my dad's side is to a guy name Thomas Alley that came to America in the early 1700s. Most of the people between Thomas and me were "preachers and teachers" my grandmother told me. I thought this was funny since I would consider myself a devout Christian and also work at a university. Anyway, my grandparents also had many pictures in their house. Pictures of them when they first married. Pictures of my dad and uncles and aunts. For some reason it really struck me to see the changes in my family over the years; to see them in their prime in these pictures but then to consider them now as they are.

I guess what bugged me--or intrigued me--was wondering how I would look and feel when I hit 50, or 70 or even 97. Sometimes I catch myself looking at my childhood pictures and wondering if I could have avoided some really hard things had I done things differently. Don't get me wrong. I don't have a bad life. Far from it, in fact. But my life tends to lean towards tedium and waiting for what's next. Sometimes I look at my circumstances and get caught up in thinking that my life is the way it is and there isn't anything that can be done about it. But I do not want to look back on my life 60 or 70 years from now with regret. I refuse to because I have lived with regret for long enough. It's time to make decisions that will help me truly live.

So, as I sat in Centralia, Illinois and looked at the difference between Harry at 15 and Harry at 97 I began to feel sorry for him. But the more I learned about him it seems that he's had a good life. When he was doing well during our trip he had a good attitude and joked quite a bit. He has a wife that is unendingly devoted to him and is full of patience. She is also the only one he seems to remember consistently and, after 48 years together, are still in love with each other. It would seem that he's made some very good decisions along the way.

I know that the decisions we make are a big part of who we are. I can decide to sit around and settle for the ho-hum life I've been living or I can decide to act and make decisions expecting my life's purpose to be found. That sounds good to me...

On the Road...

2008-07-17T17:00:00.001-07:00

I've been conspicuously absent from my blog lately because Andrea and I have been traveling the midwest, visiting our grandparents (along with a short visit to my uncle). I'll update the blog once we're back in the civilized part of the U.S. (you'll understand why I say this after you read my stories). You'll especially love to hear about Andrea's vegetarianism in the middle of "all-meat" America.

See you soon.

-C

Not Made For Us

2008-06-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

I was watching a video on YouTube the other day made by an astrophysicist named Neil DeGrasse Tyson. I watched this video because it says it's about his thoughts on the "unintelligent design of the universe." This stuff intrigues me and has done so for years. Also, since I am a Christian and believe there is intelligent design in the universe, I wanted to hear what he had to say.

Before I talk more about the video I want to say that I highly value hearing people out on their points of view. Sometimes I think I know everything but I have had many experiences in life that shows me there is usually more to life--nay, more to the universe--than what I know. Christians are often guilty of quick judgments and then vehemently sticking to those ideas. This is really frustrating to me because I am then grouped together with these knuckleheads. I am hesitant to tell people I am a Christian because of the associations that are typically made in most of our culture.

Ok, that being said, I watched the video to hear what Dr. Tyson has to say. He has 2 PhD's (1 of them is honorary) so I figure he is an intelligent guy. Basically, Dr Tyson is laying out an argument against Intelligent Design. Soon after he begins, the powerpoint behind him says: STUPID Design.

Why would he make this claim? He points out that most places in the universe would kill life instantly with heat, cold or radiation. Galaxy orbits bring you in close contact with super novas (trust me, that's a bad place to be). Our own galaxy is on a collision course with the Andromeda galaxy and the universe is generally winding down into oblivion.

His concerns are not just galactic concerns either. He talks about the fact we can't live on 2/3 of the earth (otherwise known as oceans). Earthquakes, tsunamis, lightning, floods, tornados, etc all kills thousands each year. And, if you think about the dinosaurs, about 90% of life that ever existed is now extinct.

I could go on but I won't continue in such detail. He does look at the aging process and still births (if you get queasy, look out for the still born babies he shows...ugh). At the end of the video he lays out a pretty good argument that this universe is pretty screwed up and why would anyone believe in Intelligent Design when they consider these things.

I thought about this for a few hours and there was one line that kept standing out in my mind. The video did put a little doubt in my mind about the goodness of God's creation but then I remembered what he said near the end of the video. He said that it's obvious that this universe is not made for us.

Honestly, I think this was the key statement in the video. I believe he looks at how weak and vulnerable we are in this dangerous world and thinks that an intelligent designer would have made us more robust and able to live in more environments and use less energy doing so. However, when I look at what the Bible says I believe that God purposefully made us weak and vulnerable so that our reliance would be on him. I believe God wants to play an integral part of our lives and if we are built in such a way that we don't need anything, God would have very little place in our lives.

Some people might think this is a horrendous idea because they don't believe God could be loving. I understand that. But for me, it helps me when I see beautiful things in the world and also very ugly things in the world. I love watching the sun rise but I am appalled seeing people suffering and dying. There is so much right in the world and so much wrong in the world too, but I don't think this automatically negates a good creator.

(there's more to this discussion, but for now, I leave it at this)

My First YouTube Video!

2008-06-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

We suddenly became cool last year after we bought our Mac computer (just like the commercials said we would). I really haven't tapped into the power of said computer but I'm starting to get there. Below is a video I put together with the help of my wife about our honeymoon. It's not bad for a first-timer!

Ah...the memories!

2008-05-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

I was searching around the web yesterday and came across a website featuring several old-school Nintendo games. This made me so happy...

Old School Games

Conflicted

2008-05-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

It's odd for me to compare my blog to others. The content of my blog is vastly different than what most blogs have. Most blogs relay the events of someone's day and usually points out something funny or something to be upset about. I seem to talk about things going on inside my head that no one else can see. These tend to be fairly abstract things.

I suppose that part of the reason is that very few things are interesting in my daily life. I'll show you an example:

Ok, so today I sat at my computer and answered emails. A few students came in to talk to me. Some had easy questions but most were quite needy. After sitting in one place for nearly 9 hours, I went home.

Are you hooked, yet? You can see this isn't very exciting. Anything that's interesting is going on inside my head so that's why I share thoughts. My work situation is made worse by the fact that I get bored to tears. I have deeply held beliefs about what life should be about and my work touches on NONE of those things. But I can't easily change my work because I need to get paid. I have bills to pay and we have only my income to live on.

I digress. Ultimately, the issue is that the things I do and the plans I make do not match what I truly believe to be essential to life. Adjustments need to be made and I do not mean they ought to be made only to external circumstances. I need to examine my own beliefs and see if they are realistic and grounded in truth. Once I know what I need in life, I can start making my circumstances match that.

This may still be a bit vague. I'll explain further. I run into problems when I consider decisions on where we will live, the level of comfort we will live at, what I will spend energy on, where I will work, how I spend money, who I spend time with and a host of other questions. In the last decade or so I valued things in life differently. I looked down upon the "snobs." I would have considered it a great honor to live a poor lifestyle in Romania or somewhere in Africa and be one with those that the world seemed to have forgotten. Caring for those people and not caring about my own comfort seemed to me to be the way to live my life and to not waste it on trivialities. The only work that mattered to me were those things that would clearly be considered ministry. The only education I desired was from a theological seminary.

I have already reconsidered some of the things I believe. I know amazing people that are truly good that also happen to be quite rich. I have also known people with one of those super-expensive seminary degrees that turned out to be somewhat of a jerk. I could go on but the point is that these are things that are up in the air for me. How can I really decide which class I should take at work when I don't even know what I want to study? How can I feel OK about committing to a home or a more permanent place to live when everything in me still wants to break away from the comfortable life and see the world? Doing those things could potentially make me feel very constrained if I do not determine what I truly believe and then act accordingly.

Ugh...I have dragged this conversation on far too long. I hope it made some kind of sense. It does in my head at least.

Peace!

When the Chips Are Down....

2008-05-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

Ever notice that we get really focused when things go wrong and life is hard? We seem to get lazy when life is easy and routine. Maybe that's why God allows things to happen in our lives that seem so difficult.

Just a thought....

Charting the Course

2008-05-10T21:35:00.000-07:00

In my quest for living a purposeful and meaningful life, I have made a recent discovery that should not have come as a huge surprise. I learned that I need to know myself before I can really make any solid plans. Yes, I know that I probably should have understood this need sooner, but, hey, we all have to learn at our own (albeit slow) pace, right? Right.

There are many great resources out there to help people find their way in the the world. People are tired of boring work and boring lives. The pastor at church this Sunday quoted a book calling this the "drone zone." I think I have lived my entire working life in the drone zone. In the midst of this, I hear a lot of people talking about living out their dreams and passions. I am hearing it at church and on the radio and reading it in books. We were meant for a purpose and we hurt ourselves and others when we don't seek out and embrace that calling.

One of the best authors I've read lately is Dan Miller. He encourages people to realize that there is no longer any security in today's workplace and that each of us should identify our dreams and passions and find ways to incorporate that into our work. He says you need to identify your natural skills and talents, your personality type and then your dreams and passions. Where those areas coincide you will find fulfilling work.

The problem I always ran into was that I didn't know myself well enough to do this. I would get really excited about finding my calling and then hit a brick wall when I tried to make a plan. People sometimes say, "find what you'd do for no pay at all and then find a way to get paid for it." This is fine advice if you know what you would do for nothing. You have to know what you like, you have to know in what environments you work best. I really struggle with figuring this out. In the past, when people would ask me what I did for fun, I had no answer for them. I was always so busy and so concerned with fulfilling my obligations that I lost touch with myself.

So the first step in figuring out what God wants for your life is to learn how he made you. Figure out what makes you tick. Certain things make you happy; other things annoy you. Learn that stuff. It's a huge puzzle piece in determining how to have a fulfilling life.

Here's an analogy I'll leave you with. I was part of a garage sale this weekend. In fact, it was my first garage sale. As I walked among the many "experienced" items I spotted something that I could only describe as the top half of a pogo stick. I asked what it was and no one really knew. The discussion began as we began to examine this strange piece of hardware. It had two small handles at the top that came together to form a single, double-barreled shaft. The bottom had 2 prongs sticking down, set about 8 inches apart. Someone said, "Maybe it's missing something." Another said, "Maybe it's broken." We were confused but we noticed that these two prongs at the bottom are hollow. Someone then surmised that this might be a tool to push down into the soil and then plant seeds into the holes that would be left behind. This made sense and we could all see that this tool would do the job perfectly. However, when we put a tag on this item, the only description was "tool, $2." We learned its purpose when we discovered how it was put together. It was no longer just a tool. I believe the same applies to us all. As Shakespeare said, "Know thyself."

To Blog or Not to Blog

2008-04-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

I have a love-hate relationship with blogs. One the one hand, I am sitting at a computer at work for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. I am constantly reading emails, typing notes into our database, searching the university website, etc. I try to keep my face farther than 8 inches from the screen but it seems to be more difficult than I thought it would be. I even moved the computer screen 1/2 way across the desk but I still catch myself leaning towards the screen. Furthermore, I sit in a window-less, poorly lit office in a building that may be older than my parents. So, all this complaining should say that I have nearly zero desire to go home and spend even more time on a computer.

However, I do enjoy writing and I also enjoy sharing my thoughts with others. A blog has a somewhat therapeutic effect on me because it's a place where I can vent and dream and discuss. This ties into the title of my blog. "Pilgrim" fits mostly because I am a bit of a wanderer and a thinker. I am still searching for direction, for my place in this world. This is why Pilgrim fits me. I am on a journey.

"Coffeehouse" is rather straightforward. I spend a lot of time in coffee shops around town because I find they have environments and atmospheres that help foster my creativity and thinking. This started in college when I did my homework at a few local coffee shops and it didn't stop after I graduated. I know they can be loud and busy, but for some reason that energizes me and helps me focus. Go figure.

I don't have a theme for this blog per se, so you will see many different topics and ideas on here. Please leave comments on what I write. I love discussing things.

Cheers